BUILD TOGETHER | Healthy, Happy & Holy
DAY 5 | BUILD TOGETHER
Healthy, Happy & Holy
READ
Ephesians 5:21–33
“This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church.”
Ephesians 5:32
THE TRUTH
This week began in a garden.
God created man and woman equally in His image and brought them together with purpose. He established marriage before sin ever entered the world.
Then everything changed.
Sin brought shame, hiding, blame, selfishness, fear, passivity, control, and division into what God created to be good.
But sin wasn't the end of the story.
Jesus entered it.
Through His death and resurrection, Jesus defeated sin and death and made redemption possible. And through His relationship with His Bride, the Church, Jesus shows us what redeemed relationships should increasingly look like.
That's important because a healthy, happy, and holy marriage doesn't happen accidentally.
It requires work.
It requires intentionality.
It requires communication.
It requires repentance and forgiveness.
It requires two imperfect people repeatedly surrendering themselves to a perfect Savior.
And that means the most important relationship in your marriage isn't ultimately the relationship between husband and wife.
It's your relationship with Jesus.
A husband cannot become everything his wife needs him to be apart from Christ.
A wife cannot become everything her husband needs her to be apart from Christ.
And your spouse was never intended to take the place that belongs to Jesus.
God's established roles only function as God intended when Jesus is leading.
So before we finish this first week, don't ask whether you've mastered God's design.
You haven't.
Neither has your spouse.
Instead, ask:
Are we pursuing Jesus?
Are we surrendering ourselves to Him?
Are we allowing Him to expose our sin?
Are we becoming more like Him?
Because a healthy, happy, and holy marriage is built one day at a time as imperfect people choose to follow Jesus and increasingly live according to God's design.
LOOK BACK
Think back through what God has shown you this week.
DAY 1 — GOD'S DESIGN - Marriage begins with God, not us.
DAY 2 — OUR HEART - Sin distorts God's design, and repentance begins by examining ourselves rather than blaming others.
DAY 3 — CHRIST & HIS CHURCH - Jesus shows us what sacrificial, faithful, Christlike relationships look like.
DAY 4 — PRACTICE IT - God's design must move from something we believe into something we actually live.
Now ask:
What truth from this week challenged you the most?
CELEBRATE
Growth isn't only about identifying what's wrong. Take time to recognize evidence of God's grace.
IF YOU'RE MARRIED
Tell your spouse something you saw or were reminded of this week that you appreciate about them.
Maybe you saw them serving.
Protecting.
Helping.
Encouraging.
Providing.
Listening.
Sacrificing.
Pursuing Jesus.
Be specific.
“One way I see God working through you is...”
IF YOU'RE SINGLE
Where can you see God developing Christlike character in you?
Maybe you're learning to serve more selflessly, forgive more quickly, listen more carefully, take responsibility, encourage others, or surrender an area of your life to Christ.
“One way I see God growing me is...”
Thank God for what He's already doing.
CONFESS
Now consider what God exposed this week.
Not in your spouse.
Not in your future spouse.
In you.
Where have you been selfish?
Passive?
Controlling?
Prideful?
Discontent?
Fearful?
Unforgiving?
Where have you allowed past hurt or present circumstances to become an excuse for disobedience?
Complete this honestly:
“Jesus, one area I need to surrender to You is...”
IF YOU'RE MARRIED
If something you've recognized this week requires an apology to your spouse, don't simply write it down.
Tell them.
Not: “I'm sorry, but...”
Not: “I'm sorry you felt...”
Simply take responsibility.
“I was wrong when I __________. Will you forgive me?”
IF YOU'RE SINGLE
Consider whether your confession requires action toward someone else.
Is there someone you need to apologize to?
Forgive?
Serve?
Encourage?
Have an honest conversation with?
Repentance should produce change.
MOVE FORWARD
God didn't reveal these things simply so you could recognize them.Take a next step.
IF YOU'RE MARRIED
Choose one thing you want to intentionally work on together this coming week.
Keep it simple and specific.
This week, we will intentionally:
Then answer individually:
One way I will better love my spouse is:
IF YOU'RE SINGLE
Choose one Christlike relationship characteristic you want to intentionally practice this coming week.
This week, I will intentionally grow in:
I will practice this by:
OUR MARRIAGE CREED
These seven commitments are modeled after the relationship characteristics we see in Jesus.
Don't simply read them as a list of things your spouse should do.
Read them as a commitment to become increasingly like Christ.
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
I will love my spouse unconditionally and combat the lustful desires that entice my eyes, my flesh, and my pride.
SELFLESS CARE
I will care for my spouse selflessly by being attentive and compassionate toward their needs to combat my selfishness.
ACTIVE PROTECTION
I will protect my spouse actively, seeking to guard their heart and mind from attacks. I will combat passivity to pursue them so they feel seen, loved, and safe in my company.
PURPOSEFUL PROVISION
I will provide for my spouse physically, emotionally, and spiritually by seeing and meeting their needs. Constant provision will combat purposelessness, both in work and in our marriage.
SERVANT LEADERSHIP
I will lead my spouse humbly through serving. My leadership will not be domineering or controlling but sacrificial and nurturing. Servant leadership will combat any pride, ego, or selfish motives.
INTENTIONAL INTIMACY
I will be intimate with my spouse regardless of circumstances. I will remember that we have become one flesh. I will combat isolation and division by intentionally drawing closer to my spouse through physical connection, emotional conversation, and spiritual devotion.
FAITHFUL DEVOTION
I will be faithful to my spouse by first remaining faithful to Christ. In my pursuit of Him, I will be able to strengthen my devotion to my spouse. I understand that only my devotion to Christ can combat the lies, deception, and mistrust the enemy uses to destroy my marriage.
LIVE THE CREED
IF YOU'RE MARRIED
Read the Marriage Creed aloud together.
Then each answer:
Which commitment challenged me most this week?
Which commitment do I most want Jesus to help me live out this coming week?
Don't choose for each other.
Then pray for your spouse in the area they chose for themselves.
IF YOU'RE SINGLE
Read through the entire Marriage Creed.
Don't read it simply as a checklist for determining whether someone would make a good spouse.
Ask: “Are these characteristics becoming true of me?”
Choose one: The characteristic I want Jesus to develop more deeply in me is:
Whether God brings marriage into your future or not, these are Christlike characteristics worth developing today.
PRAY TOGETHER
Father, thank You for Your good design.
Thank You for creating us in Your image, giving us purpose, and creating relationships through which we can experience Your goodness and bring You glory.
We confess that sin has distorted what You created.
Forgive our selfishness, pride, passivity, control, fear, bitterness, discontentment, and unwillingness to trust You.
Thank You that sin doesn't have the final word.
Thank You for Jesus.
Jesus, lead us.
Teach us to love unconditionally, care selflessly, protect actively, provide purposefully, lead through humble service, pursue intentional intimacy, and remain faithfully devoted.
For every marriage, help husband and wife surrender themselves first to You and then faithfully live out the roles You have entrusted to them.
For those who are single, develop Christlike character in them now. Help them build healthy relationships, understand Your design for marriage, and trust You with their future.
Where there is hurt, bring healing.
Where there is sin, bring repentance.
Where there is division, bring reconciliation.
Where there is fear, build trust.
Where there is stagnation, bring renewed pursuit.
And where we have allowed anything or anyone else to lead us, bring us back under the leadership of Jesus.
Our marriages and relationships can only become healthy, happy, and holy when Jesus is leading them.
So Jesus, lead us.
And help us faithfully follow.
Amen.