For a long time, my life was driven by worldly desires. The people I surrounded myself with shaped the direction I was heading, and little by little I gave myself over to lust, drugs, chasing money, and constantly wanting more. No matter what I got, it was never enough. There was always another appetite to satisfy, another high to chase, another thing I thought would finally bring peace.
That was my “40.”
On the outside, I looked normal to most people. But internally, I was empty. I lied to people to get what I wanted. I manipulated situations for my own benefit. Around town, I became someone people were warned about. Inside, though, I was longing for something I couldn’t find. I kept searching for peace through sexual desire, drugs, and selfish living, but every path just left me emptier than before.
Eventually, all of it caught up to me. Nothing was working anymore. I wasn’t progressing in life, and the loneliness I carried inside became impossible to ignore. That’s when something started to shift. I remembered conversations with my cousin about Christ, and even in my disbelief, I started praying. I started seeking God, even though part of me wasn’t sure what I believed.
And God met me there.
The biggest change came when I realized I was a sinner who couldn’t outrun or erase my past. I understood that forgiveness wasn’t something I could earn—it was only possible through Christ. Once I surrendered to that truth, things began changing quickly. Habits started breaking. I stopped cursing almost immediately. Unexpected opportunities opened up, including a job that completely changed the direction of my career.
But more importantly, my heart changed.
The way I viewed people changed. My relationships changed. My marriage changed. God brought peace into places that used to be filled with selfishness and chaos. Looking back now, I can see that even when I doubted Him, He was still guiding me toward redemption.
My “41” is not about becoming perfect. It’s about finally finding the peace I was chasing in all the wrong places.
If you’re still in your “40,” don’t believe the lie that the world can satisfy what your soul is craving. Those desires only grow hungrier. Real peace is found in Christ. He is the only one who truly satisfies.