When We Sin Together
DAY 4 | PRACTICE IT
READ
Joshua 24:14–15; James 4:17
“But as for me and my family, we will worship the LORD.” Joshua 24:15
THE TRUTH
This week we've talked a lot about individual obedience.
Moses was responsible for his obedience to God.
Zipporah was responsible for hers.
You are responsible for yours.
But marriage introduces another reality.
When two people become one flesh, they don't stop being individually responsible before God.
But they also begin making decisions together.
Which means a husband and wife can pursue God together.
Serve together.
Give together.
Pray together.
Raise children together.
Participate in biblical community together.
Pursue God's purposes together.
But they can also compromise together.
A husband and wife can agree on something and still be wrong.
We sometimes assume that if we're both comfortable with a decision, it must be okay.
But agreement with one another is not the same thing as obedience to God.
A couple can agree together to prioritize comfort over generosity.
They can agree together to neglect biblical community.
They can agree together to tolerate sin in their home.
They can agree together to become spiritually passive.
They can agree together to justify financial decisions they know are unwise.
They can agree together to hold bitterness against someone.
They can agree together to ignore God's purposes because obedience would require sacrifice.
Two people agreeing doesn't transform disobedience into obedience.
That's why Joshua's declaration is so powerful:
“As for me and my family, we will worship the LORD.”
He wasn't simply deciding what he would do.
He was establishing the direction of his household.
We will serve God.
Every marriage is moving somewhere.
The question isn't simply:
“Are we moving together?”
You can be completely united and still be headed in the wrong direction.
The better question is:
“Are we moving toward Jesus together?”
Marriage isn't simply about becoming one flesh.
It's about two people who have become one flesh increasingly bringing their shared life under the authority of Jesus.
Our finances.
Our sexuality.
Our parenting.
Our schedules.
Our priorities.
Our church involvement.
Our friendships.
Our entertainment.
Our generosity.
Our decisions.
Our home.
All of it belongs to Him.
REFLECT
- What areas of your life are easiest to keep separated from your obedience to Jesus: finances, sexuality, parenting, relationships, time, entertainment, generosity, church involvement, or something else?
- Have you ever justified a decision because everyone involved agreed with it, even though you knew it wasn't honoring God?
- Is there an area where you've become comfortable with something God may be calling you to confront or change?
A HAPPILY MARRIED REMINDER
Today could easily become: “See! I've been telling you we shouldn't be doing this!”
Don't do that. Before identifying your spouse's compromise, ask: “Where have I participated in, encouraged, ignored, or benefited from our compromise?”
Shared repentance begins with personal responsibility.
TOGETHER OR INDIVIDUALLY
IF YOU'RE MARRIED
This may require more honesty than some of the conversations we've had this week.
Ask together:
“Is there anywhere in our marriage or home where we have become comfortable living contrary to what we know God desires?”
Consider:
- Our finances: Are we honoring God with what He has entrusted to us?
- Our intimacy: Are we honoring God's design for sexuality and faithfully pursuing one another?
- Our parenting: Are we discipling, correcting, protecting, and guiding our children according to Scripture?
- Our priorities: Does the way we spend our time reflect what we say matters most?
- Our church: Are we participating in the mission and community of the local church through worship, serving, giving, relationships, and accountability?
- Our relationships: Are there sins, habits, grudges, or unhealthy influences we've mutually chosen to tolerate?
- Our home: Is our household increasingly being shaped by the Word of God or simply by whatever is easiest and most comfortable?
Don't try to fix everything today. Ask God to reveal one area where obedience needs to replace compromise. Then agree on your next step.
IF YOU'RE SINGLE
This question isn't limited to marriage.
If you're dating, ask: “Is this relationship helping us obey Jesus, or have we become comfortable disobeying Him together?”
For everyone, consider the people closest to you.
Are there friendships or relationships where you've developed an unspoken agreement:
“We know this isn't right, but neither of us is going to challenge it”?
Biblical community shouldn't make us more comfortable with sin.
It should help us become more obedient to Jesus.
FROM THE MARRIAGE CREED
“I will be faithful to my spouse by first remaining faithful to Christ. In my pursuit of Him I will be able to strengthen my devotion to my spouse.”
Faithfulness isn't merely avoiding adultery.
At its foundation, faithfulness is about devotion.
What are we devoted to?
Comfort?
Success?
Our children?
Our lifestyle?
Our plans?
Our desires?
Each other?
Even good things become dangerous when our devotion to them becomes greater than our devotion to Jesus.
The best thing a husband and wife can do for one another is continually help each other return to the same place:
The feet of Jesus.
Our marriage belongs to Him.
Our home belongs to Him.
Our future belongs to Him.
We belong to Him.
RESPOND
TODAY WE WILL...
If you're married, complete this together:
One area where God may be calling our marriage toward greater obedience is:
We have allowed this area to continue because:
Our next step of obedience will be:
If you're single, complete it personally:
One area where God is calling me toward greater obedience is:
I have allowed compromise because:
My next step of obedience will be:
Then don't stop with recognition.
Act.
Cancel it.
Confess it.
Change it.
Have the conversation.
Ask for accountability.
Make the appointment.
Create the boundary.
Return what doesn't belong to you.
Change the habit.
Join the community.
Begin serving.
Start giving.
Whatever obedience requires:
Take the next step.
PRAY
Father, search our hearts and search our homes.
Show us not only where we have disobeyed You individually, but where we have become comfortable with disobedience together.
Expose the places where agreement with one another has become more important than agreement with Your Word.
Forgive us for choosing comfort over obedience.
Forgive us for ignoring what we know is right because change would be difficult.
Forgive us for the ways we've encouraged, enabled, ignored, or participated in one another's sin.
For those who are married, help us become one flesh in pursuit of Jesus.
May our finances honor You.
May our intimacy honor You.
May our parenting honor You.
May our priorities honor You.
May our home honor You.
May our participation in Your Church honor You.
Give us courage to lovingly confront compromise and grace to receive correction without becoming defensive.
For those who are single, give them relationships that refuse to make peace with sin. Surround them with people who will lovingly encourage them toward obedience.
May the declaration of Joshua become the direction of our lives:
“As for me and my family, we will worship the LORD.”
Jesus, lead our homes.
Lead our relationships.
Lead our decisions.
Lead our hearts.
Amen.
TOMORROW
We've asked where I am disobeying.
We've asked where we may be disobeying.
But changing behavior alone isn't enough.
God wants to deal with the place where disobedience begins:
The heart.
Tomorrow we'll return to the imagery behind Moses and Zipporah's story, but this time through the words of Moses and Paul:
Day 5: Cut It Off — Circumcision of the Heart.