There was a season when I thought the story of growing our family would look one way, and God kept saying no—or at least, not yet. After our first daughter, we were unable to conceive more children, and that grief could have left me feeling defeated. But instead, it drove me to seek the Lord. I believed He had placed the desire for more children in my heart for a reason, even if the path was not what I expected.
That was my “40”—learning to trust God when doors seemed closed, while holding onto the belief that He was still leading.
As I prayed and sought Him, I began to sense He was growing our family in a different way. Little by little, God started confirming His direction—through quiet time in His Word, through worship, through people He placed in my life, even through specific moments and opportunities I could not have orchestrated myself. I watched Him provide for adoptions, lead us into foster care, and bring children into our family in ways that felt undeniably guided by His hand. And then, in ways I never expected, He even provided biological children too.
What I thought was loss became part of a much greater story.
What changed wasn’t just our family size. My heart changed. My faith deepened. I began to understand that what I once saw as infertility, God was using for impact—for children in need, for families, for His kingdom, and for His glory.
Now I look around at our family and I am overwhelmed. I cannot imagine life without any one of these children. What I once grieved became one of the clearest places I have seen God’s faithfulness.
God was writing a greater story than the one I was trying to write for myself.
If you are still in your “40,” keep following His leading. Even when you cannot see what He is doing, He is working. Stay close to Him. Trust Him through the closed doors as much as the open ones. What He has planned may be different than what you imagined—but it may be far better too.