There was a season in our lives where we were walking through infertility and miscarriage, and it was completely outside of our control. We were praying, believing, and hoping for something good, and yet it kept ending in loss. It didn’t make sense. It felt like grief layered on top of confusion, with disappointment that just kept coming back.
That was our “40.”
On the outside, we kept moving forward the best we could. But internally, it was a constant battle—trying to hold onto trust in God while also carrying deep hurt. There were moments of isolation, questions we didn’t have answers to, and a quiet tension between what we believed and what we were experiencing. We didn’t understand why God would allow something like this, especially when our desire was something good.
There wasn’t one single turning point where everything suddenly changed. It was more of a slow shift over time—choosing, again and again, to keep trusting God even when we didn’t understand. A significant step in that shift came when we stepped into fostering. It wasn’t the plan we had originally imagined, but it was the door that God placed in front of us.
That decision changed everything.
God met us in that season mostly through people. He surrounded us with the right voices, the right support, at the right time. And slowly, our perspective began to change. We stopped only focusing on what we had lost and started to see how God might still use our story. Our hearts opened—not just to fostering, but to others who were walking through similar pain.
Now, our “41” looks like our family. Through fostering, God brought two children into our lives, and we were able to adopt them. It’s not the story we would have written, but it’s better than we could have imagined.
Looking back, I can see that God was working the entire time, even when it felt like He was silent.
If you’re still in your “40,” it’s okay to wrestle with the questions. But don’t lose sight of this—God is still working, even when you can’t see it yet.