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PRAYERS: RELATIONAL STRUGGLES

  • “We’re not communicating well at home. I don’t feel heard.”

  • “My marriage feels distant and disconnected. I’m scared.”

  • “We keep fighting over the same things and nothing gets resolved.”

  • “We need unity. We’re spiritually on different pages.”

  • “My spouse is struggling spiritually and I feel alone.”

  • “There’s tension in our home every day.”

  • “I’m exhausted from carrying the emotional weight.”

  • “Pray for our communication — it’s been unhealthy for a long time.”

  • “My family keeps talking about us behind our backs.”

  • “My ex is causing chaos and I’m emotionally drained.”

  • “We need healing and peace in our home.”

 

WHY GOSSIP ESCALATES STRUGGLES:
WE TALK ABOUT THE PERSON AND THE PROBLEM, INSTEAD OF TALKING TO THE PERSON ABOUT THE PROBLEM.

 

WHAT IS MY PURPOSE IN TALKING TO A 3RD PARTY INSTEAD OF TALKING TO THE PERSON I’M STRUGGLING WITH?

 

THERE IS A FINE LINE BETWEEN SHARING GOSSIP & SEEKING GUIDANCE.

 

GOSSIP (COMPLAINT SHARING):

• PERSON IN QUESTION IS EXCLUDED FROM THE CONVERSATION
 • PERSONAL, SUBJECTIVE ADVICE
 • CHARACTER BASHING
 • ESCALATES TENSION
 • DRIVEN BY MUTUAL FRUSTRATION
 • “I DON’T WANT TO TALK BAD ABOUT THEM BUT…”

 

GUIDANCE (COUNSEL SEEKING):

• PERSON IN QUESTION IS EVENTUALLY INVITED TO THE CONVERSATION
 • BIBLICAL, OBJECTIVE WISDOM
 • MOVES TOWARD RECONCILIATION
 • PRAYER-DRIVEN
 • DE-ESCALATES TENSION

 

 

HEALTHY CONFLICT (DIRECT CONVERSATIONS):

• Clarity
• Understanding
• Unity
• Growth
• Intimacy
• Repentance
• Restoration

 

UNHEALTHY CONFLICT (INDIRECT CONVERSATIONS):

• Blame
• Escalation
• Silence
• Withdrawal
• Passive aggression
• Gossip
• Bitterness

 

UNHEALTHY CONFLICT IS A PRODUCT OF PRIDE.

Pride says:

• They’re wrong, I’m not
 • Their problem, not mine
 • They need help, not me
 • This is who I am — deal with it
 • My struggle is worse than theirs
 • Not my fault they misunderstood me
 • I don’t care about their feelings

 

Philippians 2:3-4 - "In humility consider others as more important than yourselves. 4 Everyone should look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others."

 

HEALTHY CONFLICT IS A PRODUCT OF HUMILITY

Humility says:

• How was I wrong?
 • How did I contribute?
 • How can I help resolve this?
 • Was I insensitive or misinformed?
 • What should I change about my actions or reactions?
 • Your feelings matter — help me understand them.

 

PRIDE LEADS TO UNHEALTHY CONFLICT & CONTINUED STRUGGLES

HUMILITY PRODUCES HEALTHY CONFLICT & LASTING RESOLVE.

 

Matthew 5:17-20 - 17 “Don’t assume that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill. 18 For I assure you: Until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest letter or one stroke of a letter will pass from the law until all things are accomplished. 19 Therefore, whoever breaks one of the least of these commands and teaches people to do so will be called least in the kingdom of heaven. But whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. 20 For I tell you, unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

 

IF OUR HEART & MIND ARE SINFUL, OUR ACTIONS WILL BE SINFUL. IF OUR HEART & MIND ARE PURIFIED, OUR ACTIONS & WORDS WILL BE RIGHTEOUS.