For a long time, I thought the problem in my life was everyone else. I was stubborn, prideful, demanding, and convinced that if everyone around me would just do better, things would be fine. I worked long hours as a truck driver for Coca-Cola, often gone from home and exhausted when I returned. My wife had become a stay-at-home mom after daycare costs became too much, and instead of appreciating everything she carried, I focused on what wasn’t getting done.
That was my “40.”
I would come home wanting peace and quiet, a clean house, dinner ready, and everything in order. But with kids, laundry, dishes, errands, and the chaos of life, home rarely looked like that. Instead of helping, I blamed my wife. I saw her as the weak link instead of seeing my own selfishness and pride.
At the same time, my health was falling apart. I gained a lot of weight and was dealing with sleep apnea, high blood pressure, anxiety attacks, pre-diabetes, and more medications than I could count. A doctor finally sat me down and warned me that if I kept living the way I was, a heart attack was coming.
Then I lost my job.
That’s when everything began to shift.
In the middle of all the stress and confusion, I had a real moment with God. Somehow, through all of it, I knew we needed to move to Florida. We left behind everything we had ever known—family, friends, security, my career—and started over with almost nothing.
After bariatric surgery and the move, the biggest change came when my wife got a job and I became the stay-at-home parent.
And I failed miserably at it.
Suddenly I was the one juggling school drop-offs, cleaning, laundry, cooking, errands, and caring for a little one all day. Dinner wasn’t ready. Laundry piled up. The house stayed messy. I finally understood firsthand what my wife had been carrying all those years.
God was opening my eyes.
What changed wasn’t just our situation—it was my heart. God kept me home for a full year, and in that season He completely changed my perspective on marriage, family, and love. I stopped demanding perfection and started learning partnership. My wife and I became a team instead of opponents.
Now, my “41” looks like peace, understanding, and gratitude. I’m not the same man I used to be. I help because I understand now. I love differently now.
Looking back, I can see God took me through the fire to make me into a different man.
If you’re still in your “40,” keep your eyes on God instead of the chaos around you. Don’t try to carry it alone. Sometimes the hardest seasons are the very ones God uses to transform you the most.