My “40” started in my early teens, and it came from something I didn’t expect to affect me so deeply—losing connection with people I thought would always be there. I would build friendships, get close to people, and then suddenly they were gone. Some moved away, some went to different churches, and many just stopped keeping in contact. After being part of a church for 11 years, we left so my sister and I could be part of a youth program, and it felt like that entire community disappeared overnight.
That was my “40.”
I felt depressed, lost, and confused. I kept asking myself why people didn’t care enough to stay connected. Over time, I started pulling back—from God and from others. My thoughts turned negative, not just about myself but about everyone around me. It felt easier to isolate than to risk being hurt again.
At the same time, my brother left for the military, and it felt like more pieces of my life were shifting. The circle of people who no longer stayed in contact kept growing, and I started believing the lie that nobody really cared. Even though I was trying to grow in my relationship with God, it felt like I was doing it while carrying a weight I didn’t know how to let go of.
Things began to shift when I realized how much I was focusing on everything that was going wrong. I was so fixed on what I had lost that I wasn’t seeing what God was still doing. That realization changed my direction. I began choosing to focus on God instead—on my family, on the good that was still present, and on the ways He was working, even if it was quiet.
Now, my relationship with God is stronger than it has ever been. I’ve learned that no matter what I’m feeling or facing, I need to seek Him first. I still have moments where old thoughts try to come back, telling me nobody cares, but I recognize those as lies now.
My “41” is not perfect, but it’s grounded. Through church and community, I’ve grown in my faith and in who I am. I’m still learning how to trust people again, but I don’t give up. I ask God for strength, and He meets me there.
If you’re still in your “40,” don’t stop seeking God. Even when you don’t see Him working, He is. Stay in His Word, pray, and don’t isolate yourself. Let people walk with you. Don’t give up.