There was a season in my life where everything seemed to fall apart at once. I returned home after not finishing my education, newly married but already feeling defeated. Then loss hit even deeper. My brother and his wife passed away, leaving behind a 14-month-old child. Around that same time, I went through multiple jobs, and even a stretch with no job at all. It was a heavy season, and if I’m honest, there were times it felt like punishment.
That was my “40.”
And yet, even in that season, God didn’t stop working.
While I was struggling internally, questioning and carrying grief, God was still using my wife and me. I was teaching an adult Sunday school class, singing in an Easter musical, and starting a home Bible study. My wife was faithfully serving too—helping in the nursery and leading in our county Right to Life. In the middle of loss and uncertainty, God also blessed us with three children.
Looking back, it didn’t make sense at the time. I felt defeated, but God was still moving.
The turning point came years later. After nearly ten years of carrying that sense of calling, I went to our pastor and told him I still felt drawn to ministry. I didn’t know what that looked like, but I knew it hadn’t gone away. His response surprised me. He had just received a letter from a children’s home looking for house parents.
We stepped through that door.
That moment changed everything.
Through Scripture, through people, through prayer, and through circumstances, God made it clear that He had been leading us all along. What felt like wasted time or detours were actually preparation.
What changed wasn’t just our situation—it was our understanding. We were no longer looking at our past as something to regret, but something God had used to shape us for where He was calling us.
Now, I can look back with no regrets, only gratitude. There’s no way to fully explain all the ways God prepared and refined us for ministry, but I can see His hand in all of it.
If you’re still in your “40,” I would ask you this: is it possible God is shaping you and preparing you for something you can’t yet see?